Some Understanding of Pain

Dear Tony,

A while ago I was reading a book about a burn unit. One point the book made was that in first- and second-degree (mild to moderate) burns, the person is often in excruciating pain. As difficult as it is to endure, that pain is actually a good thing: It means the nerves are intact. On severe, third- and fourth-degree burns, often the nerves are destroyed and the person cannot feel pain.

In my experience that analogy often holds true for mental illness. When we are dealing with really severe pain our sensors become dull or shut off and we can’t really feel it. As we gradually become better, we start to feel more. And our reward for becoming more healthy is that we are hit with these feelings to which we had previously been numb. As we become more able to feel and process pain, we feel and process more pain.

I have had some horrible things happen to me. I would imagine that you have, too. Pain is a healthy and natural response. Not feeling pain after a deeply traumatic episode would be unhealthy. I am learning to process through them piece by piece and step by step. But I don’t really want the pain to go away. I just want to learn how to process it better.

Being in pain can be a good sign. Growing better can often mean feeling worse. That is difficult to take at first, but you need to learn to work through these feelings a little at a time. There are ways to process pain, but it takes work.