Dear Tony,
You have probably reached a point where you know something is wrong. The problem is not the world. You realize you have a problem, and you need to go find and figure out a way to fix it.
Next question: What's the problem?
Don't worry too much about your diagnosis. I know it is not easy, but diagnoses don't explain anything. They are not useless, but they really exist more to help the doctors than to help you. A diagnosis is one or two words. The human brain is the most complicated thing in the known universe. No one's brain can be reduced to one or two words.
This is difficult to accept, but there is usually no easy answer for that above question. Chances are you do not have a simple problem or a simple solution. You have probably tried intently to fix it for a long time now. If there was a simple solution, you would have done it by now.
Which brings me back to the advice I keep telling you. You are not helpless, but you need to make small changes one at a time and go step by step. You can improve your life, but you need to start where you are and make changes based on what you can do, not what you most need.
Saturday, November 22, 2014
Tuesday, November 18, 2014
Where to Begin
Dear Tony,
How do you choose where to begin? It admittedly can be very tricky.
I've said it before: Start with what you can do, not what you most need.
That sometimes can be difficult to figure out.
Any positive change is a step in the right direction. If you had skills which you lost in the last several months, try to start there. It is often easier to re-gain skills. Somehow our subconscious seems to hold on to them for a while.
Another possibility is to look at something you already do well and try to make it still better. That might be difficult to do when you have other problems. But it is still a positive change, and every positive change is good.
The most important piece is not the change itself. It is learning how to make changes and adjust yourself to changes. That may well be the most difficult skill you ever need to learn. But once you learn how to make your life better your life will become better. No matter how small the changes are.
How do you choose where to begin? It admittedly can be very tricky.
I've said it before: Start with what you can do, not what you most need.
That sometimes can be difficult to figure out.
Any positive change is a step in the right direction. If you had skills which you lost in the last several months, try to start there. It is often easier to re-gain skills. Somehow our subconscious seems to hold on to them for a while.
Another possibility is to look at something you already do well and try to make it still better. That might be difficult to do when you have other problems. But it is still a positive change, and every positive change is good.
The most important piece is not the change itself. It is learning how to make changes and adjust yourself to changes. That may well be the most difficult skill you ever need to learn. But once you learn how to make your life better your life will become better. No matter how small the changes are.
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