Dear Tony,
I know that changing things is very difficult. You just need to start something. Anything. Anything that you can do right now.
The first step is almost always the most difficult. Once you have started, you will be able to move on and go further. You will see more possibilities, more things that you can do. But just taking that first step is the most difficult.
Chances are you fuction better at certain times or in certain locations or under other very specific conditions. Accomodate that as much as you possibly can. Change is difficult enough at first. Make it as easy on yourself as possible.
Don't be worried about failure. In my experience, almost nothing is a complete and total failure. New changes usually succeed in some way, even if it is not the way you most want. Even if you do fail, think it over and consider what happened. You probably did some things right, and you need to realize and build on that. And if you can figure out what went wrong, than at least you know what to avoid. Or what you are not ready for right now. And then you can make changes and try again.
Also, do not think about the long-term plan for now. Just do whatever you can do. Obviously, later on you will want to be careful that you are moving in the direction you want to move in. But for now just make any positive change you can. In order to move in the right direction first you need to learn how to move.
One more thing: Taking the first step is very difficult, and you will need to take care of yourself when you do so. I usually need more food and sleep when I am beginning to do something new. You may need to find some other activities you enjoy. Call it a reward. You've earned it.
Good luck!
